When it comes to the fermentation of alcohol, I’m a mad scientist. I don’t follow any but the most basic rules. The rest, I toss into the trash bin, where they should have been for the last thousand years. I mean, the women who have brewed in the past didn’t follow any of the lousy rules, why should I??

If you buy a book on brewing, or you go to your local supply shop, they’re going to try to sell you a kit, or give you a list of things that they promise you’ll need. Some of it’s great to have, and some of it is just a waste of money. There are a lot of things I got that I either can’t figure out how the hell to use, or just never used in the first place. There are other things that would have made things easier, that I didn’t get at first.

What does the first time brewer absolutely HAVE to have?

2 food grade plastic buckets; A siphon hose of some sort; Ingredients; Yeast; Camden tablets or potassium or sodium metabisulfite; Sterilizing solution of some sort; Air lock or fermentation lock.

That’s pretty much all you HAVE to have. Other things, pectin enzymes and testing kits are good to have, but not necessary.

There are a few things I’d like to say about the equipment. There are some out there that will tell you that you have to use glass. It’s garbage, don’t listen to them. They’ll say that plastic will retain the flavors of your last batch, and that it will spoil your most recent one. I’ve had a couple of buckets for over two years, almost in constant use with one wine, beer or mead or another. I’ve never had that problem. Wash them immediately after you empty them, don’t use any abrasive cleaners, and sterilize properly, and it’s just simply not an issue. Mostly, people that tell you that just want to sell you the more expensive glass containers. Glass is heavier, harder to work with, and if it breaks, you have a massive fucking mess. I wouldn’t bother with it. If you think you want glass, and have the money to pay for it, then do so. Otherwise, don’t bother. You need a bucket with a hole in the lid for the fermentation lock. They come in many different sizes and styles. The type you use is a matter of personal taste.

The siphoning hose isn’t an absolute necessity, per se. I made several batches of mead without one. I will say that life is a whole lot easier with one. They aren’t that expensive, and worth the money, if only for the fact that there is less hassle and the possibility of spilling your precious brew with one. I have one that has a pump attached. A couple of pumps, and the wine flows effortlessly from one bucket to the other. It’s definitely worth the $10 buck or so you pay for it.

You need to decide what you want it made of, and then you choose the yeast. There are a lot of different kinds, and what you want your finished product to be will pretty much determine the yeast you use. You will need the Camden Tablets, they kill off the wild yeasts before you add the brewer’s yeast. That keeps nasty flavors and aromas from contaminating things.

Sterilizing solution is the last thing. This is a must have. When you brew, your equipment need to be sterile. You don’t want bacteria in your buckets or on your equipment. I can’t stress this enough. Sterilization solution is your friend. You can use bleach and water, but I don’t recommend it. It does the job, and does it well, but it’s fuck all to get rinsed out, and it does have to be totally rinsed out. Save yourself some grief and buy the no rinse kind.

Next time, on Mad Scientist Theater, I’m going to tell you how I pick ingredients… Bwahahahahahaha